In a certain city in Romania is a burying ground called the "Mary Cemetery." The crosses that serve as tombstones are ornamented with carvings, paintings in bright colors and even amusing epitaphs. They express, of course, the Christian''s belief in the resurrected life.
The Communist government, which wrote the travel folders describing this cemetery and its unique tombstones, until recently described the Christian hope expressed on the tombstones as merely "the expression of a certain philosophy regarding the way of facing death."
Ah, but it is far more than that; it is not so much a philosophy but a faith, an inward assurance about the very nature of death. That faith springs from a Christian''s relationship to Jesus Christ who assures us, "I am the resurrection and the life; if anyone believes in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live, and whoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die."
The Apostle Paul, also speaking for the Lord, assures us, "For we know that when the tent that we live in--these bodies of flesh--are destroyed, we will have wonderful new bodies in Heaven, homes that will be ours forevermore, made for us by God Himself and not by human hands."
So celebration is always appropriate for our loved ones who die in the Lord. "Eye has not seen nor ear heard, neither can the heart of man conceive the things God has prepared for those who love Him...."
But what about we who are left--children, grand-children, friends, relatives. How can we handle the parting and transform the tragedy into triumph?
ONE THING WE CAN DO IS TO CHERISH THE MEMORIES, AND I''M SURE THERE ARE MANY, WHICH WILL GROW BRIGHTER WITH THE PASSING YEARS.
Southern humorist Lewis Grizzard was writing of his deceased father. He wrote:
"Some of (my) memories are nearly forty years old, but they are indelible and they are a comfort.
"To love someone unconditionally--as I loved Daddy--is to remember nuances that made such an object of love unique and impossible to replace.
"That is why I remember, and cherish, the memories of the man''s hair, his smell, his likes and dislikes, his speech, and his idiosyncracies.
"We had such a little time together. War took him away.
"Then he came back for a short time before he was gone again. He never would return on a full-time basis.
"Maybe that is why each of the nuances, each of the jokes and stories, each of the memories is so priceless to me. I have some pictures of my father. I have that packet of war records. I have the flag that was across his casket. I have his Bronze Star and his Purple Heart in a frame and they hang on my wall.
"But what I don''t have anymore is him. There will be no new memories made. That is why I cling to those I have with such tenacity." (1)
What would our lives be without memories, precious memories? When Ulysses, during his wanderings, was leaving the enchanted isle where Calypso lived, Calypso came down to the beach where Ulysses was departing on his raft and said to him, "Say good-bye to me, but not to the thought of me!" There is no danger we will say good-bye to thoughts of _______________. One thing that gives us comfort in our time of grief is the memories we have of happier times spent with the one we say good-bye to today.
ANOTHER THING THAT WE CAN DO IS TO DETERMINE TO LIVE SO CLOSE TO THE LORD THAT WE HONOR THOSE THINGS THAT OUR LOVED ONE STOOD FOR.
An article in THE CHRISTIAN HERALD tells about a senior executive in one of New York''s largest banks. He was recalling how he got started in banking.
It began shortly after he was hired as an office boy many years before. One day the bank president called the youth to his office and told him he wanted him to work with him each day. The lad protested that he knew nothing of banking. The president told him, "Never mind, you will learn a lot faster if you just stay by my side and keep your eyes and ears open." The young boy did just that and later recalled, "Being with that man made me just like him. I began to do things the way he did, and that accounts for what I am today."
There is a lesson there for each of us. If we live each day as close to the Lord as possible, we will become like Him. Life will then become more of what God wants for all of us. We will draw our strength from Him. He will be our comfort and our shield.
Because of our belief in the resurrection, the words of the Apostle Paul are so meaningful, "So, my dear brothers, since future victory is sure, be strong and steady, always abounding in the Lord''s work, for you know that nothing that you do for the Lord is ever wasted as it would be if there were no resurrection."
ONE OTHER THING WE MIGHT DO TO TRANSFORM OUR TRAGEDY INTO TRIUMPH IS TO OPEN OUR HEARTS TO CHRIST SO HE CAN FULFILL HIS PROMISE OF BEING WITH US. For he said, "I will not leave you comfortless; I will come to you."
Bob Benson, of publishing and music fame and an author, tells of visiting a pastor friend in Ohio where Bob was to speak at the friend''s church. Before the service they went to a local restaurant where his friend and his friend''s wife waved at an elderly lady sitting in a booth across the room. She was dressed in her best and having the deluxe dinner, salad, rolls, roast beef, etc. Bob and his friend, Gene, went to the salad bar while Gene''s wife went over and visited with the lady. When she returned, her eyes were glistening with tears. She told them what she had just heard. The little lady had asked her, "Did you know my husband died not long ago?" and Frances, the wife, had said, "Yes, I knew. I was at the funeral...."
"Well, I was so blue and despondent," continued the little lady, "I hardly cared if I lived myself. The other night the Lord told me I couldn''t keep on like I was going. I couldn''t stay buried in my grief. I had to cheer up and smile and begin to get out of the house some. My reply to Him was, 'I can''t, Lord. I''m all alone.'' And then the Lord said, 'But you still have me.'' And I am here tonight, eating this meal in glad celebration that it is true. I still have Him." (2)
And so do you, and so do I, dear friends. In this time of tragedy, if we love Christ, we still have him and in the end that''s all that we really need.
Timothy J. Smith tells of a man who lost his beautiful wife unexpectedly. In fact her illness only lasted a few days and she was gone. After her death, the man began to make the cemetery his retreat, going there every day. This went on for more than a year. This man had withdrawn from life. He was immersed in lonely depression, entombed in a dark cell of separation. One day he was planting a flower on her grave and suddenly he heard her voice speaking so clearly that it turned him around, fully expecting to see her standing behind him. She said, "Honey! What are you doing out here?" That was all, but it was enough. It marked the moment the sun of reality broke through the clouds of his grief to convince him that life still held something worthwhile for him. He straightened up, looked at the trees, the grass around him, and everything was changed. This man experienced the power of the Easter faith in his life. He went home and from then on visited that cemetery only once a year on Memorial Day.
Christ had turned his tragedy into triumph. Christ will do the same thing for us. Cherish those memories. Draw closer to Christ. Open your heart to him. Let him give you his peace.
1. Lewis Grizzard, MY DADDY WAS A PISTOL AND I'M A SON OF A GUN (New York: Dell Publishing, 1986), pp. 113-114.
2. Bob Benson, HE SPEAKS SOFTLY (Waco: Word Books, 1985), pg. 68.