Many years ago, firefighters in Canton, Ohio, rushed to the home of Lisa M. Ash, 24, to extinguish a fire. They pulled out of her oven a smoldering voodoo doll made from cloth and twigs that she said she was using to cast a spell against a neighbor, based on advice she said she received from a telephone psychic line. (1)
James W. Moore tells about a segment he saw on the television news show "20/20." It was called "Neighbors at War." It showed how next door neighbors do battle with each other fighting, fussing, suing, sometimes even shooting at each other because of a barking dog, or a noisy power tool, or a bouncing basketball. (2)
Neighbors at war! Can such things really happen? Is there a solution? Of course there is.
Jesus was asked, "Which commandment is the first of all?" And Jesus answered, "Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one; and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all you soul and with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Here it is: the secret of all human relations. Love your neighbor as yourself.
When William Penn was given land in the New World by King Charles II, he was also granted power to make war on the Indians. But Penn refused to build forts or have soldiers in his province. Instead, he treated the Indians kindly and as equals. All disputes between the two races were settled by a meeting of six white men and six Indians. When Penn died, the Indians mourned him as a friend. After Penn's death, other colonies were constantly under attack by the Indians. Pennsylvania was free from such attacks, however, as long as they refused to arm themselves. Many years later the Quakers were outvoted in the State, and the colony began building forts and training soldiers against possible aggression. You can guess what happened. They were immediately attacked. (3)
William Penn understood that this is the key to all human relations: Love your neighbor as you love yourself. How difficult can it be to love your neighbor?
Well, if you've ever had a difficult neighbor, then you know. But Jesus wasn't talking just about the people next door. Jesus taught us that our real neighbor is anyone with whom we have contact. It makes no difference whether our neighbor lives next door or across town or in Zanzibar. If our life somehow impinges on someone else's life, that person is our neighbor. GOD'S WORLD IS A GIANT NEIGHBORHOOD. That is the first thing we need to see. I don't want to sound too much like Mr. Rogers on the children's television show, but, if we take the teachings of Jesus literally, we ARE residents of a giant neighborhood and everyone on earth is our neighbor.
Less than a year after Richard and Judie Wheeler began building their dream house in Winona, Texas, Richard learned he had cancer. For the first time in months, the saws and hammers were silent around the Wheeler home. Then a member of the Wheelers' church stopped by the house they were renting and asked Judie for the plans to the new dwelling. What happened next resembled an old-fashioned barn raising. Members of the church started up where Richard had left off. Word spread through the community, and people began offering their services. Some knew a little about plumbing, while others could install wiring. A local restaurant fed volunteers all the chicken fried steaks and hamburgers they could eat. As the house neared completion, Richard Wheeler's battle with cancer ended. He never saw the house finished. But Judie, who moved in with their daughters in October 1994, a month after Richard's death, said it had been easier for him knowing that the compassionate neighbors of Winona were taking care of his family. (4)
Wouldn't you like to live in a neighborhood like that? That is Jesus' dream for the entire world. That people shall care about other people. Red people, yellow people, brown people, black people, white people…people of every race, people of every religion, people of every nation, people of every political persuasion. We shall love one another. How difficult can that be? Well, evidently, it is quite difficult. Here, in our own nation a nation fashioned on Christian principles as we like to remind ourselves we are a nation divided. We are divided by race, by religion, by economic position. What is the solution? How can we have the kind of caring neighborhood that Jesus envisioned?
It has been fashionable over the past two decades to put the emphasis on the last part of Jesus' statement and to declare solemnly, "THE KEY TO LOVING OTHERS IS, FIRST OF ALL, TO YOU LOVE YOURSELF." You have heard that before, haven't you? After all, Jesus did say, "Love your neighbor AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF." So the key to fulfilling the second commandment is to, first of all, love yourself. And there is some truth to this. It is only recently that we have come to see the price people pay for low self-esteem. When people hate themselves they are apt to be abusive toward others. Low self-esteem is certainly a factor in drug and alcohol abuse and all the problems that are engendered by these two vices. Low self-esteem is certainly a factor in bigotry and racial hatred. And thus, according to many psychologists, the key to getting people to love others is to first get them to love themselves.
John Q. Baucom, in his book Baby Steps to Happiness, tells about a teacher training workshop he once conducted. He spoke to the teachers about the power of self-esteem. One of the teachers came up with an ingenious way of implementing it. At the beginning of the school year she would kneel and whisper in her first graders' ears, "You've got to be special to be in my class. I only get the really smart students." Each child reacted with pleasant surprise upon discovering they were "special." She ended up having far less difficulty in her classroom than the other teachers. She also started receiving phone calls from parents telling her they were glad someone finally recognized their children were so smart! It turned out to be a win/win situation. Positive self-esteem raised the children's performance. (5) And we all need a degree of positive self-esteem. Please believe me when I say that I recognize the need for positive self esteem. THE ONLY PROBLEM IS THAT IT WON'T HELP US LOVE AS JESUS LOVED.
Roy Baumeister, a psychology professor at Case Western Reserve University in Ohio, has come to the conclusion that too much self-esteem leads to bigger problems in society not smaller problems. In a widely discussed study, Baumeister confronts a primary assumption of the self-esteem movement: that criminals and bullies suffer from low self-worth. Baumeister discovered that just the opposite is true that outlaws most often have an INFLATED sense of self-worth. In fact, he says, many violent crimes result when an individual defends a bloated self-image against a perceived attack. Baumeister's study suggests that even bad behavior on the part of noncriminals temper tantrums, irrational rages, etc. may also be triggered by imagined affronts to pumped-up egos. "The dangerous ones are those who overestimate how good they are," Baumeister says. "They'll lash out to try and head off anything that might lower their self-esteem." (6)
Other studies tend to support Baumeister. Positive self-love can be a healthy thing. Christ does not intend for us to be door mats who let others walk all over us because we do not value ourselves. Healthy self-love leads to self acceptance, improved performance in our work, and a feeling of peacefulness in life. BUT IT DOES NOT CAUSE US TO LOVE OUR NEIGHBOR NOT WITH THE KIND OF LOVE JESUS INTENDS. HERE IS THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER: YOU CAN'T TRULY LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR UNTIL YOU LOVE GOD. We have been trying to live out the great commandment by turning it on its head, and it does not work. Why in the world should I love my neighbor? Loving my neighbor takes work. It is inconvenient. It interferes with my schedule. It interferes with my hedonistic lifestyle. Why should I love my neighbor? Because I love God, and God has commanded me to love my neighbor. "No one can truly love God," says the Epistle of John, "who does not love his or her neighbor." This is how we show our love for God: we pass on God's love to others. There is nothing else we can do in return for God's love. We can't give God gifts. God is totally self-sufficient. So God asks us to take the love we have received and pass it to someone else.
Mal Fletcher in his book, Youth: The Endangered Species, tells of two friends of his who lived out what it means to love your neighbor.
Rohan Dissaneyeke was a pastor in Sri Lanka. Rohan and his wife, originally natives of New Zealand, had traveled to Sri Lanka during a time of serious social upheaval. The Tamil people, who were of Indian descent, were trying to establish a separate and independent state within Sri Lanka. The Sinhalese people, who made up a majority of the population, stood in strong opposition to the plan. Disagreement had degenerated into fighting and bloodshed, and a civil war seemed imminent.
Rohan and his wife moved to Sri Lanka with full knowledge of the danger and turmoil that society faced. They began a ministry to youth in Sri Lanka, helping them to deal with the violence and hatred seeping into their communities. But one night, a group of guerilla fighters attacked the van carrying Rohan and some of his young charges. Rohan was killed. When Mal Fletcher looks back on his friend's life and death, he is able to find some measure of comfort. He remembers the joy Rohan found in his work. In the midst of chaos and strife, he entered enthusiastically into a ministry, and he died doing what God had called him to do. (7)
The second friend is a police officer in Northern Ireland. We sometimes forget that in the awful conflict within that tortured land there are decent people on both sides who desire nothing more than to bring peace and harmony. Police officers don't have an easy job in any country, but listen to this man's average day. Before he gets in his car each day, he must check it thoroughly for any explosives. The law requires that he must carry a gun at all times, even in church. His life is continually in danger. Yet he is committed to his job. When Mal asked him why he didn't pursue the opportunity to emigrate to another country, the officer replied, "Mal, I would leave tomorrow if it wasn't for the fact that this is where God has called me to be . . ." He has chosen to stay at his post in spite of the danger. (8) Do you think either Rohan or this police officer made their extraordinary decisions because they loved themselves? I don't think so! They were on the front lines doing their part to serve others because, first of all, they loved God.
One morning in Chicago, harried commuters jammed and shoved their way into our subway train. When it seemed as if every inch of space had been filled, a panic stricken young man appeared at the car door. Realizing that the train would soon pull away without him, he cried out, "There's room for all 600 of us if we'll just love one another a little!"
The human sea parted, and he slipped onto the train. Despite the crowding and the long ride ahead, all the passengers relaxed a little; the incident had set a new tone of gentleness for the day. (9)
It is so easy to give in to our baser emotions; to hate; to seek revenge when someone has wronged us; to ignore the plight of the poor; to wrap ourselves in smug self-satisfaction with the attitude that we have worked for what we have, let others do the same. But there is a man hanging on the cross who says to us, "I have loved you with a love that can only be repaid one way, ˜Love your neighbor as you love yourself.'"
1. LEXINGTON HERALDLEADER, February 18, 1994, p. 21.
2. SOME THINGS ARE TOO GOOD NOT TO BE TRUE (Nashville: Dimensions for Living, 1994).
3. Don M. Aycock, WALKING STRAIGHT IN A CROOKED WORLD (Nashville: Broadman Press, 1987).
4. Kim McGuire in Tyler, Texas, MORNING TELEGRAPH.
5. Cited in "Heroes for Today," READER'S DIGEST, May 1996, pp. 64-65.
6. (Lancaster, PA: Starburst Publishers, 1996)
7. "What Goes Up Must Come Down," HEALTH, July/August 1996, p.
8. (Kilsyth, Australia: Word Publishing, 1991), 102-103.
9. IBID., p 104. 9. Max G. Bunyan (Miami, Fla.).