How to turn a disagreement into a feud:
- Be sure to develop and maintain a healthy fear of conflict, letting your own feelings build up so you are in an explosive frame of mind.
- If you must state your concerns, be as vague and general as possible. Then the other person cannot do anything practical to change the situation.
- Assume you know all the facts and you are totally right. The use of a clinching Bible verse is helpful. Speak prophetically for truth and justice; do most of the talking.
- With a touch of defiance, announce your willingness to talk with anyone who wishes to discuss the problem with you. But do not take steps to initiate such conversation.
- Latch tenaciously onto whatever evidence you can find that shows the other person is merely jealous of you.
- Judge the motivation of the other party on any previous experience that showed failure or unkindness. Keep track of any angry words.
- If the discussion should, alas, become serious, view the issue as a win/lose struggle. Avoid possible solutions and go for total victory and unconditional surrender. Don't get too many options on the table.
- Pass the buck! If you are about to get cornered into a solution, indicate you are without power to settle; you need your partner, spouse, bank, whatever.
David C. Cook Publishing Co., Tell it to the Church, by Ron Kraybill