How many of you out there today have "Baptist feet?"

I'm not asking how many of you were or are Baptists (though I confess: the Methodists raised me, but the Baptists saved me). I'm asking this: When you find yourself in a social situation which involves music and moving people, do you suddenly freeze to your chair? Wish yourself invisible? Get a sudden urge to go out for fresh air? Remember you are nursing an old football/tennis/gardening injury?

If so, then you (like me) have "Baptist feet," a handy theological misnomer (after all there are plenty of dancing Baptists), that allows you to escape any and all invitations to get up and dance.

Just because some of us don't like to participate in the particular form of pubic humiliation our culture designates as dancing doesn't mean that we…